If we don’t know what success is for us, how will we know when we have achieved it?
How do you define success?
Not what others think success is, not what society defines success to be, not what others expect of you or what you think they expect of you but really what is success for you?
This is a key question I enjoy working on with my clients. It sounds simple but can often lead to some surprising answers, remind us of things we had forgotten, or not “dared” express, or simply help us gain clarity.
So how do we go beyond the stock standard answer to this question, or what we think we should say success is and get to what we really define as success for ourselves?
Here is a nice exercise you might want to try, to help you find your own answer. To keep it simple, I won’t go into the theory of how this process works here.
Take a blank piece of paper, split it in two columns. In the left column, write down “To me, success is…” and in the right column write down any answer that pops up in your mind, without censoring yourself. If you don’t know, just write “I don’t know” and keep on writing down what pops up in your mind. Once you have run out of answers, go back to the left column, and write again “To me, success is…” and opposite it start writing your answers again. Do this for at least 5 minutes, if possible 10 minutes (you’d be surprised how fast time might go when you really get into it)
Don’t analyse your answers while you are writing them, don’t judge them, don’t re-read your previous responses until you feel you really have nothing else to write.
Now, have a look at your answers. Did any of these make you a little more emotional than others? Did an answer keep on coming back even when you thought it was trivial?
If so, it might indicate that this could be your answer to what success is for you or that it could be getting close to it and might warrant further exploration.
I would love to hear what insights you gained from doing this exercise, whether it be about what the actual answers were or about your impression of the process to get there; or maybe even about some actions you decided to take as a result of it.