There is a common saying that the three most stressful changes in our life are getting married, moving house (or country) and changing jobs!
There are many ways to deal successfully with the stress, the doubts and all the obstacles that we face when changing job or career, and to have the right mindset to tackle all this. I could talk about it for hours!
However, I decided to focus today on what I believe is one of the foundations of dealing calmly and successfully with change.
“Why” is one of the most important questions you can ask yourself (if not the most important). Finding your “Big Why” will help you keep motivated, will keep you on track when outside influences go against you, will guide you when life throws challenges at you…
Why is it so important? If we change for the wrong reason, what we end up with still won’t be solving our issues. It might bring a temporary change that will bring temporary benefits but the real reasons behind our need for change will then pop up again and we will find ourselves in the same situation.
If you don’t know why you are changing jobs or you have changed jobs, how will you know that the new job is the right one, that the “bad days” are worth it, how will you remain focused, how will you avoid falling back in the same traps?
It is in those moments of doubts, of stress, that having a strong “Big Why” to fall back on becomes truly essential.
Getting to the core of your why can take time and effort, but it doesn’t mean that there aren’t simple things you can do to start working on it.
If you had to say in one word or a short sentence why you are changing, what would it be?
Is it to make money? To have more certainty? To bring an element of stimulation, of fun? To have more significance, more purpose? For a sense of connection? To grow, to learn? Because you want to contribute to society, to other people’s lives?
Write down your answer, so you can really work on it.
Having done this, it is important to go beyond the most evident answer (“because I need money”, “because I have to”) and look deeper at the real why.
To explain this further, here is a simple non-work related example:
Let’s imagine that your doctor tells you that you must loose weight to remain healthy (or change your diet, or exercise, whatever you relate to the most).
Your immediate “why” would be “because the doctor told me” or “because it’s good for my health”.
The problem is, doing things simply because people tell us to is rarely a good enough motivation. We need to understand what it really means to us.
For example, if because of your weight and its impact on your health you couldn’t do something you really wanted (play with the kids, go on a once in a lifetime trip…), then your real “why” would be to “play with the kids”, “to make that trip” etc. and the loosing the weight would only be a consequence.
Having read this, revisit your answer.
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Set aside a good 10 minutes, in a place where you won’t be interrupted, and truly work on it and write your answers down.
Be as specific as possible.
For example, if your reply was “because I need to make money”, specify what you need the money for. Is it because you need to support your family? Because you have debts you need to repay? Because you want to send your children to a specific school? …
Then take it even further. For example, if you need money to support your family is it because you love them, because it is your duty, because…?
If you are struggling with this, and to help you go beyond the obvious answers, you could use the same technique of the 2 columns exercise I mentioned in the “What Is Success” article.
Split your page in 2 columns, on the left write “I want to change jobs / make a change to my job (which ever is most appropriate) because” and on the right, write all the answers that come to mind. When you run out of answers, write the statement in the left column again and repeat the exercise.
You will know you have found your deeper “why” when you feel a real emotion when writing your answer.
If you don’t have an emotional reaction after 10 minutes, you don’t need to go forever! Either it is not the right time, or you are not the emotional type. Just look at your answers, look at the evolution of your answers.
Though this is going to sound a little cliché, it’s a little like peeling an onion: there are many layers, and there is something to learn from each. So every time you do this exercise, you will get closer to your true “big why”.
So spend a few more minutes thinking about your why. But don’t stress over it! It will become clear with time. You might find that the answer comes to you at a later stage, or that it evolves with time.
I would love to hear what you thought of this, and what insights you gained from this exercise.
You can find more articles at https://www.itsallinthemindset.com/knowledge-platform/
This content is extracted from the short course “Mindset Foundations For A Successful Career Change “ material, amended and shortened for the purpose of this article.